Care Skills

Pastoral Care Skills

Are you a chaplain? Are you in a pastoral care ministry? Are you putting together a pastoral care team together? Are you wanting to determine whether people in your church or ministry has the skills for pastoral care and/or chaplaincy?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then completing this training will help you discover your current level of skills in 7 imperative levels of pastoral care and chaplaincy.

THE FIRST OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

GUIDING – Jesus took time out to pray

• Jesus knew when he needed to withdraw, to spend time alone, to spend time with the Father.
• He was aware of his own limitations and boundaries.
  • If we step into caring for someone without praying, we are likely to rely on our own strength
  • Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. If you are thinking too much about what to say and do, then you are not allowing the Spirit to lead you
  • It is God who turns our ordinary words and action into the extraordinary.
  • It will always be about God, not me.
• Guiding assists perplexed persons to make confident choices.
• Historically, the function of guiding was giving advice, spiritual direction and listening.
• Contemporary use of guiding includes educative counselling, short-term decision making, confrontational counselling and spiritual director.

Before moving on answers these 4 questions on how well you are at guiding. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/guiding/

THE SECOND OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

SUSTAINING – Jesus was always seeking the right path and telling others to find likewise.

In the parable of the sower, Jesus explains ‘the good seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop’.

To help rise above a situation, we need to have:

1. our heart aligned with God’s heart;
2. be able to hear God;
3. understand it and remember it; and
4. persevere through the hard times, knowing that endurance will make us stronger.

King David wrote about sustaining in the Psalms:

Do not be afraid, I am safe in God (Ps 3:5)

God provides support and gentleness (Ps 18:35)

Read Psalm 119:116-117

Sustaining helps individuals to endure and rise above situations. Historically, the function of sustaining has been exercised through perseverance, comfort and visitation of the sick. Contemporary use of sustaining includes supportive counselling, crisis counselling, bereavement counselling, being there through the long haul. Example, after a tragic death, long term follow up, depression, suicidal.

Before moving on answers these 4 questions on how well you are at sustaining. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/sustaining/

THE THIRD OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

HEALING – Jesus always had time to be with people

Jesus was never in a hurry. He was there to care for the sick, to heal the sick, to tell them a story, to feed the hungry, to bless the children.

Mt 17:14-20 – faith is the key

Mt 4:23 – Jesus didn’t go looking to heal people. He went from place to place to teach and healing came when people would come to him in faith (or their friend). We was never too busy.

Mt 8:5-7,13 – be willing, if someone calls for help or if God calls you to go, be willing.

Also Jesus had willingness to go beyond boundaries – Lk 6:7-11. Would we? (I love this passage because sometimes limit God.)

Mk 6:1-6 (esp v5) – perseverance, sometimes it is not the time to heal, not the place, and that’s okay as long as we know it and stay close to God to know His will.

Healing requires faith in God, being available for God, perseverance, knowledge, understanding, belief.

Time pressures on earth take away our heavenly priority of being Christ to others. Jesus’ had many things to do, but he always had time for people. Relationships are key.

Healing aims to overcome the impairment of the person leading them to wholeness and advancing them beyond their previous condition.

Historically, the function of healing has been carried out through such acts as anointing, exorcisms, prayer of the saints, pilgrimages to shrines, laying of hands. Contemporary use of healing include pastoral psychotherapy, spiritual healing and marriage counselling. Examples include physical healing, emotional healing, spiritual healing.

Before moving on answers these 4 questions on how well you are at healing. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/healing/

THE FOURTH OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

RECONCILING – Jesus taught on forgiveness so that people will be restored.

Jesus said:

• Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation. (Lk 11:4)
• For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Mt 6:14)
• This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. (Mt 26:28)
• And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (Mk 11:25)
• Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Lk 6:37)
• He spoke on forgiveness until his last breath – Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. (Lk 23:34)

God doesn’t only just want us to forgive and learn to love those who have betrayed us or hurt us in some way – God wants to give us far more. Reconciling seeks to re-establish broken relationships between person & person and between individuals & God.

Historically, the function of reconciling has involved such activities as forgiveness, discipline, penance, confession and absolution. Contemporary use of reconciling includes marriage counselling and existential counselling (reconciliation with God). Examples include but limited to relationship breakdowns.

Before moving on answers these 4 questions on how well you are at reconciling. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/reconciling/

THE FIFTH OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

NURTURING – Jesus nurtured his disciples and taught them everything he knew.

Jesus gathered a team, taught them leadership, taught them important life qualities. He never kept his gifts to himself, he always shared them, allowing them to be demonstrated amongst Christians and the community.

It was always about “doing it together”, not “doing it alone”.

Nurturing enables people to develop their God given gifts throughout their life journey. Historically, the function of nurturing has been used in training new members in the Christian life and through religious education. Contemporary use of nurturing includes educative counselling, growth groups, marriage and family enrichment and growth enabling care through development crises.

Do pastoral care in your community together – start with a good foundation, pray together, learn together, care for one another; then go out and be the best you can for others. Chaplains, do this with other chaplains in likeminded ministries.

Before moving on answers these 4 questions on how well you are at nurturing. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/nurturing/

THE SIXTH OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

LIBERATING – Jesus wanted to see people set free

Along the road, from town to town, Jesus saw: the pharisees oppressed by religion and law; outcasts oppressed by demons and disease; women oppressed by slavery to men for money; rich men oppressed by their own riches and possessions; the poor oppressed by their circumstances; and his own disciples oppressed by their lack of faith.

What did Jesus do? To the pharisees he told them, demonstrated in front of them as much as he could what love was, who God was, what being a believer was actually about – they weren’t liberated for their minds were too closed and their hearts too hardened. To the outcasts and the poor he loved them, touched them, talked to them and healed them, liberated them beyond their former situation. To the women he forgave them, moved them beyond their situation and liberated them to another place.

A common element that occurred repeatedly, Jesus always withdrew to pray before he released people and liberated them. Taking time out to gather our thoughts, to not fall into temptation, to seek God’s will and not our own desires – is vital. Liberation of men and women to become Children of God as God intended them to be.

The freedom comes as people embrace divine directives for living. ‘For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence, but through love become slaves to one another. For the whole law is summed up in one commandment, “you shall love you neighbour as yourself”.’ (Gal 5:13-14 NRSV)

Examples include, freedom from unforgiven sin, liberty that comes from being able to forgive those who have grieved or harmed us, freedom from fear, freedom from bondage to addictive behaviour, freedom to choose constantly to obey God and love are the promises of the Gospel.

Before moving on answers these 4 questions on how well you are at listening. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/listening/

THE LAST OF THE 7 PASTORAL CARE FUNCTIONS

CELEBRATION – Jesus took the time to celebrate

Even though the weight of his coming death was near, Passover was still celebrated. Matthew 26:2, 17 – Jesus said to his disciples ‘As you know, the Passover celebration begins in two days, and I, the Son of Man, will be betrayed and crucified… As you go into the city, you will see a certain man. Tell him, “the teacher says, my time has come, and I will eat the Passover meal with my disciples at your house”.’

How many times have we made excuses to not celebrate, not help someone or not go to church because we felt the weight of life on us? I know I am guilty of this. How much celebrating did any of us do during 2020?

Luke 15 gives us a beautiful picture of celebration. Celebrate when one person is no longer lost, but now found! Celebrate when one lost sinner returns to God! Celebrate with friends v9 ‘when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbours to rejoice‘. Celebrated with a feast to the lost son who has returned home! Lay out the best clothes, the best calf, put on a party of music, dancing and rejoicing! v32 ‘we had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’

Pastoral care and chaplaincy should be people centred rather than problem centred.

Pastoral care that incorporates celebration includes the central community celebration of gathered public worship among the people of God. Underwood asserts that corporate worship is the primary context from which pastoral care draws life – its vitality and purpose. Chaplaincy celebration may look a little different, but encouraged to the person you are supporting to celebrate their little wins and perhaps that is something you can do together or encourage them to do with their partner / family / friends.

Pastoral care and chaplaincy without celebration of achievements, growth, milestones, restoration, is inadequate.

The last 4 questions on how well you are at empathy. Answer as honestly as possible.

https://www.communitychaplain.org/quiz/empathy/

All worship, the coming together of 2 or 3 people, includes guiding, sustaining, healing, reconciling, liberating and celebrating through the grace of God discovered in the gathered community of faith.

A pastoral care & chaplaincy motto

If pastoral carers / chaplains would have a motto, then perhaps we should take on these words from the author of Hebrews.

Do you see what this means – all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God – he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place go honour, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! (Heb 12:1-2, The Message)

Jesus’ purpose is part of our purpose … listen to him, pray, take time out, strengthen your faith, trust in God, learn from the past, be open to God’s leading – heal, sustain, guide, reconcile, nurture, liberate and celebrate.

Lead by example: Do you exhibit faith in God through your actions day to day? Do you seek care from someone when you need help? Do you feel short accounts with God and others? Do you use your gifts? Do you pray for others regularly? Do you find yourself led to places of deep gratitude and restoration?

Rev Dr Melissa Baker B.Min, Dip.Th, Grad.Dip.CM, M.Ed (Adult), EdD

The above is a summary of workshops and lectures I have given over the years to Bible college students, pastors and pastoral carers, chaplains in school, police and Defence force ministries.